Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
