It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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