I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize