We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
