she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
