how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
