I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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