I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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