OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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