Me too!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
my shit smells like andre
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
