so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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