Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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