I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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