How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
