He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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