Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
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I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
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Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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