I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
