Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
