omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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