I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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