I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
