It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Im part way to drunk.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
