I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
