You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
