Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
grandma shit on top of the toilet
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent this text using only my big toe
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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