id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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