I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
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He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
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What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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