holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Houston, we have a squirter
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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