i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
