i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize