it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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