See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
