I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
