Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
