She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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