The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
