we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
