I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
