he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
