dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
