Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize
