come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
