Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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