I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
