there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
