We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
