That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
