Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
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He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
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You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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