You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
