Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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