would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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