It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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