Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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