I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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