Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
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I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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