you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize