So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
