Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
