I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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