The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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