She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
