i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize