forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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