So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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