Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
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