There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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